There’s never going to be a perfect selfie.
There, I said it.
And just typing those words felt so good.
But you know what we all do?
We scrutinize the shizz out of our selfies.
We fixate. We stare. We compare. We demean.
For the love of all that’s holy, we have got to stop doing this.
Can we pinky swear to stop this behavior once and for all?
And let me suggest something that I’ve always done that seems to really work.
I take no more than THREE SHOTS and then I move on.
When I’m dealing with our children, I usually just take ONE SHOT.
I don’t waste my time.
Too many missed moments and magical memories at stake.
I grab the needed image and put my phone right away.
I use my phone like a camera, shoot and done, shoot and done.
I have noticed that my children don’t mind taking a picture because I don’t take 20 in a row…99% of the time I take just one. Sometimes I take a few and I always work with what I’ve got. I don’t scrutinize anything unless, of course, it’s for the beloved family Christmas card. Now that’s just an entirely different story, ha!
But when there’s some down time later (maybe in the car on the way home or possibly when I’m working in my office) that’s when I take time to crop, give it a filter, zoom in and then push it through to Instagram/Facebook. Not during family time, date night or a school activity.
I have also found that any negative dialog about a picture of me is something that I don’t want my children to hear. Period. End of story. And it’s hard to do that as often as we all have our phones out.
It saddens me deeply when I hear people look at a picture of themselves and talk about their physical appearance with their own children right there, within ear shot. Because those little ears are listening, taking mental notes and learning their own degree of self talk from us.
I try to mirror what I want them to say. What they hear is what they’ll think. And I certainly don’t want any of them saying some of things I’ve said out loud in the past. We are all guilty of scrutinizing our own physical appearances either in our mind or out loud.
So what do I do?
When I take a picture and they say, ‘Can I see it?’ Instead of saying something like, ‘You look great!’ I try to talk about the feeling or memory we’re creating. Maybe I’ll tell say to them, ‘Look, we all look like we are having so much fun in this picture! I can hear your laughter through it!’ Giving them a gentle reminder that the memory is what’s important and not HOW we look in the picture.
Believe me, this is NOT easy and it takes practice but one of the most important things for me is for my children to have this inner confidence, a strong personal dialog about themselves that isn’t very easily shaken.
So you guys, can I get a group pinky swear to set our selfie game straight, especially when little ears are around?
Shout out ‘PINKY SWEAR’ below if you’re up for this challenge.
You’re amazing, xx